Prayerful Parenting Radio Messages Summer 2019 Dr. Linda Karges-Bone

These messages are recorded at WKCL Christian Radio in Charleston, SC and are copyrighted by Dr. Linda Karges-Bone. All rights reserved.

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Prayerful Parenting Summer 2019

Segment One: Slow Down and Enjoy Life

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent. Here’s the first secret: you are going to be sorry that you wasted your precious parenting time on things that didn’t really matter. What kinds of things will you regret not spending time on in the future? Taking a walk and holding hands with your spouse. Eating ice cream on the porch with your kids. Attending church and really listening. Thinking before you speak. Spending money on music, books, or charity. Doing a random act of kindness. Taking a meal to someone who is sick. Visiting the elderly. Laughing. These are all things that don’t necessarily fit into an Instagram post, but that you will find, in the not too distant parenting future, really matter. God’s word says this: “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”– Psalm 90:12

 

Segment Two: The Importance of Fathers

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of  messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent. Ready? Fathers matter more than one knows and biological fathers matter a lot. Consider new research, suggesting that a father’s presence in the home can affect the age at which his daughters enter puberty and whether or not they begin precocious sexual activity. Girls need their fathers in unique ways, helping them cross the bridge to puberty in a protected way. Girls in biologically intact families start puberty later and are less likely to engage in early sexual activity. Researchers at Vanderbilt University found that a biological father sends pheromones, chemical signals to his daughter, repressing her maturation until later. The presence of unrelated men in the home, even a stepfather, has the opposite effect, triggering puberty in girls. Girls with a biological father in the home are less likely to become victims of assault or teen pregnancy. In God’s plan, an intact home gives both boys and girls spiritual, emotional, and even biological cues necessary for health and well being.

 

 

Segment Three: Dr. Seuss Was Right

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent.  Are you ready?  Dr. Seuss was right about a lot of things and his iconic book Oh, the Places You’ll Go is a wonderful gift for grads. As we prepare for graduations, from kindergarten or high school, law school or nursing school, seminary or tech, it might be a good idea to consider the words of an expert on life, Dr. Seuss. Why? Because it is positive and that is what you’re going to need to make it in this complex world. The funny rhymes include some solid advice about starting out in the world, about new beginnings. Like this: “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own.  And you know what you know. And YOU  are the guy who’ll decide where to go. “I might only add, be sure to take God with you. He’s a pretty good companion on any journey!

Segment Four: Elders

 Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent.  Are you ready?  One day, sooner than you think, you are going to have to take on a significant role in the lives of your parents or a close, older relative and you probably won’t be ready. This Fall for example, you might have to host Thanksgiving dinner because one of your parents isn’t well. Or your parents may hit a financial crisis and you’ll be shocked, because you had not idea at all about their dire situation. Whether it is physical, financial,  cognitive, or just pure accident, you will find yourself caring for elders even when you still have children or grandchildren in your home and it is exhausting. My recommendation here: seek godly counsel. Don’t try to handle this one on your own. Proverbs 12:15  “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

 

 

Segment Five: Guard Your Hearts from Midlife Crisis

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of  messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent.  Are you ready?  In the next few weeks, someone you know is going to do something stupid, destroying  their marriage and witness, leaving family to pick up the pieces when a spouse loses his or her footing & (perhaps his or her mind) in a mid-life crisis I’d like to warn anyone listening, especially anyone with a birthday coming up that ends in a “0”, like 40 or 50 or even 60. Try not to do anything stupid. I’m not kidding. From deacons to pastor’s wives, from doting dads to ordinary soccer moms, I’ve seen people who were perfectly normal and content one day suddenly chuck it all and abandoning spouses, kids, careers, and churches to “find happiness”. This often includes a serious of bad financial decisions, adultery, and the internet in some way, but I digress. These mid-life lunatics head after an elusive happiness that isn’t OUT THERE anywhere. It’s where it always was, in a contented heart.  Timelessly, scripture speaks: “Guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.”

 

Segment Six: Attitude is Everything

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting© If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent. You are underestimating the importance and power of a positive attitude. Mean people are everywhere and you might be one of them. Check yourself. How do you speak to clerks in the shops? What tone do you use with your child’s teacher? With a neighbor? You don’t think it matters and you are wrong. Recently, someone I thought I knew well asked how my family was doing and I responded that we were having a rough time since some surgeries and illnesses. This lady retorted: “Well, everyone has problems. Now you know how it feels.” Yikes. She calls herself a Christian. In an increasingly mean-spirited, short-tempered, downright nasty world, are we living Hosea 11:4 ”I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.”

 

Segment Seven: Family Dinner Time

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©  If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent. You are making a mistake by neglecting family mealtime, the secret to raising a stronger family, helping teens avoid high risk behaviors, and boosting kids grades to the A+ level.  Eating dinner together as a family at least 5 times per week is a tonic for tired, out of touch, over-stressed families.  In fact, The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse reports that teens who eat with their families at least 5 times per week are twice as likely to earn all A’s in school as their peers who do not.  Eating dinner at least 2 nights per week seems to reduce teens’ likelihood of using drugs or alcohol by a significant amount as well. Here are some strategies. 1) Assign teens one night per week to shop and cook. 2) Clip coupons and order a pizza. 3) Use a crock pot and come home to a meal; 4) Turn off the phone and TV and make it a priority. Jesus knew about dinner time: John 12:2 “Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him”.

Segment Eight: Buy Experiences, Not Things

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©  If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent. You may regret the bigger house or the more posh vehicle, but you will not regret watching shooting stars from the rim of the Grand Canyon, nor sharing a beach house with your siblings during a sultry July, nor the Broadway Play with your teen daughters, nor the romantic weekend in Asheville with your spouse, nor the Zip line in Costa Rica when everyone got sick from too many tamales….the list is endless. All around me, I see young families spending their dollars on mortgages and car payments and it makes me sad, because when it is all said and done, travel and the memories gathered in those experiences will last forever and will sustain your family during tough times ahead. Matthew 6:19 is spot on: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.”

Segment Nine: Get Outside

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©  If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent. As your family grows up and moves on, from babies to toddlers to teens…you will regret not spending more time outdoors together. Yes, inside is nice. The holidays, the sleepovers, the lazy Saturdays doing chores, even the science fair projects that you worked so hard on. This is all lovely, but outside is different. As I think back, some of my favorite times with my own little ones involved outside. The first trip to the beach, the hikes in caverns and caves on vacation, riding out bicycles downtown to get an ice cream cone. These were magical. The outdoors are a great equalizer. Parents and children are young together for once, playful and curious. I think it is a gift. Job 12:7 says: “Speak to the earth and it will teach you.” Are you listening?

 

Segment Ten: Live Within Your Means

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©  If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent. Listen carefully. You are not living within your means and it is going to cause problems in your marriage, with your health, and ultimately with your witness. How do I know this? Even Dr. B cannot be that nosy, right? Just follow the research. According to CNBC, 69 percent of Americans had less than $1,000 in total savings and 34 percent had no savings at all. One emergency would destroy 7 out of 10 families in a single swipe. This need not be the case, with the lowest unemployment rate in recent history. Where’s the money going? New cars. New phones. Too many clothes. Eating out. Using credit cards. Student loan debt inflated by refusing to use technical colleges or in state tutu ion options. Not paying cash. We haven’t taught our children about the difference between want and need, because we never learned it. There’s still time. Living without debt is freedom. Proverbs 22:7 “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.”

 

Segment Eleven: Technology and Sleep Debt

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©  If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent. As time passes, you will regret letting technology steal your sleep and by your sleep, I mean your own and that of every human in your household. Those blinking screens are a menace. According to the latest research, 1/3 of teens wake up at night to check their phones for messages or social media updates and their parents aren’t much better, with ¼ doing the same. Lack of quality sleep is also affected by usage close to sleep time, interfering with circadian rhythms. This incurs something called a sleep debt and triggers inflammation in the brain and body, resulting in fuzzy thinking, lack of creativity, memory problems, and impaired creativity. Think lower grades, less productivity, and terrible moods. Does that sound good? Get a handle on it parents. Proverbs 14:1 says that “A foolish woman tears her house down”. Could a blinking blue screen be the weapon of family destruction?

Segment Twelve: School Matters

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©  If you could see into the future, would you want to know? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and in this set of messages, I’m going to look into my gypsy crystal ball, courtesy of my Sicilian grandmother and tell you about your future as a parent. You might not realize it now, in the midst of homework, projects, packing lunches, and pleading with teens to finish term papers, but the school years are amazing. Your child’s brain in flourishing. He or she is becoming a scholar, at whatever pace and in whatever way God has ordained it. It is a time of growth and promise. Are you paying attention? I cannot tell you how many parents have come to me, discouraged and disheartened over the fact that they didn’t give their children’s teachers, grades, reading, learning, and school activities their full attention. They could have done so much more and they simply “got through”. Don’t be in that number. Engage. Inquire. Collaborate. Participate. Be that parent who shows up and cares. You will never regret it. Be like Solomon and show your children that “Wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.”

 

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