Dr. Linda Karges-Bone

          My husband just didn’t get it. Why did we need to spend time and money on the “perfect” curtains for our daughter’s condo? She was in graduate school. She had a safe place to live. She had  furniture, a stocked pantry, and even a large, copiously shedding rescue dog named Sullivan, all coordinated by mommy and daddy…..so why another trip to Target for a specific pair of brown print curtains with coordinating hardware? He just didn’t get it, but I did. A girl needs her curtains. I always have. In many ways, I can recount the story of my life, in curtains.

          The late 1960’s. My sisters and I are close. The three of us shared a room for most of our lives, mostly in military housing where it is difficult to create a personal space or style. Maybe that is why we loved to re-arrange our furniture so frequently and to change the curtains. We would raid mommy’s linen closet and pull out something fresh and different for our special place. I’ll have to give my mother credit; she never balked at our choices, as long as things were cleaned and ironed.  Old kitchen “café” curtains sprinkled with fruits and flowers? It was our  summer look. Recycled drapes from Grandma LaPorta’s living room? The formal look, perfect with our matching chenille bedspreads from Sears.  We liked to add accoutrements to the  window treatments…..scarves, sashes, bows, and lengths of gold-tipped fringe from a giant bag of remnants  that came to us by way of some cousins in New York who had once made lace and tassels for the “best” casinos in Atlantic City. Or so we were told.

          Fortunately, there seemed no end to the treasures in mommy’s linen closet. She had the curtain fever too and though our financial resources were modest, she always seemed to have stacked shelves. I remember my grandmother and godmother sending brown, twine wrapped packages from The City , New York City, the only one that counted, filled with boxes of Italian pasta that we couldn’t get in the wilderness, the delicate blue boxes of rigatoni, fusilli, orzo, and pastina  buffered with layers of lacey sheers, appliquéd panels, or fringed valences that had once lived in another Italian mama’s linen chest. I still have some of the sheer panels, probably 40 years old now, but still good.

          The same grandmother who used curtains as packing material for fragile boxes of pasta established my connection with curtains. In her dark, immensely fascinating basement kitchen in Queens, there was a blue calico curtain covering the closet that held the biscotti, the pink china coffee cups, and the expresso. This was the holy of holies, off limits to little hands,  and my brothers and sisters and I always associated the “blue curtain” with grandma’s house, her cooking, and her love.

          I suppose that connection between love and curtains was tested when I washed the kitchen curtains in my then fiancé’s bachelor pad.  They fell apart. Literally. “Haven’t you ever washed those curtains?” I asked, horrified.

          “Why?” he sniffed, “Why would I?”  For this reason alone, he needed a wife, and quickly. In spite of my university degrees and commitment to a robust professional life, I hold fast to the belief that a woman’s home , especially the curtains,  are a point of pride.

          So, he got new kitchen curtains, yellow dotted Swiss, which horrified him, and a new bride, whom he tried to please by spending Saturday mornings nailing up hardware for, what else, more drapes, shades, and curtains. This time for our first home.

          Curtains mark the big events in a long marriage. The day we were robbed, I knew that something was terribly wrong when I came home from teaching school to find the drapes torn down from the three living room windows, tossed to the floor as the thieves ransacked our little brick home in the country.

          The day we hung the yellow and green “Winnie the Pooh” curtains in the nursery, with matching shades stenciled by a teacher friend, to welcome our first daughter.

          The  matching pink “country ruffles” in the girls’ rooms when we moved into our new home;  this time there were two sets exactly the same, for two tiny girls.

          The first curtains that the girls picked out when they began decorating their own rooms. Dinosaurs for one girl. Shabby Chic for another.  Drapes of white Christmas lights during the holidays.

          The first “real drapes” that I bought for the formal dining room, when we could afford dining room furniture.

          Sometimes, taking down the curtains was part of the story. After Hurricane Hugo ravaged our heavily wooded property, I took down all the shades and curtains in our large, country kitchen. I wanted to see it all, the light, the trees, the starkness of what had happened.

          Curtains are a frame and not just for windows. I think of them as an expression of what I am feeling and doing and becoming at the time. Whimsical? Traditional? Open and bright? Comforting and protected? The act of choosing the curtains, washing, pressing, hanging, and then letting the room envelop me brings a unique sense of satisfaction.

          “I have made this place my own,” I think. The curtains, or sometimes lack of them, are a statement.

          So, I understand the sparkle in my daughter’s eyes when she sees the fabric meant to hang in the windows of her new space. The color is warm; the design  bold and creative. Perfect for her new journey toward a Ph.D. Curtains to frame a place that is both comfortable, yet forward thinking. I tried to explain this to my husband as he balanced on a step ladder to hang the hooks.

          “Are you crazy?” he snorts. “They are only curtains.” My daughter and I share a knowing smile. He just doesn’t get it.

I’m going to Seattle for the first time around the time this article goes to print, and I shall make a pilgrimage. Not to a cathedral nor a shrine, but to the original Starbucks™  store in the Pike’s Place Market. It will probably be the high point of my visit. You see, I am a certifiable, committed, happily caffeinated coffee aficionado.

Starbucks™   began its climb toward fame in 1971, but my relationship with the java began even earlier, in my grandmother’s kitchen in Queens, that part of New York City where little Italian ladies brew some of the richest coffee this side of Italy. My sisters and I learned to sip coffee in colorful china cups, a concoction of café con leche  much heavier on the sugar and milk than the coffee, but the taste  still unmistakable. Hence, one of my favorite things, to this day, is a cup of coffee.

I like a big mug of coffee in the morning, early. Setting up my fancy brewing machine the night before, so that no time is wasted before the scent and sounds of freshly ground beans permeate the house is a nightly ritual.

The formula includes the dark roast beans, a tablespoon of sugar free vanilla or hazelnut syrup ( per pot), and cold water. Each cup, and I need at least two to participate fully in human company, will require a packet of sugar free sweetener and two squirts of Fat Free Whipped Topping ( canned) or a tablespoon of the tubbed variety. Years ago, my sisters and I discovered that whipped topping adds the “lightness” of milk, plus an added, sweet creaminess.

My grandmother Anna Peretti LaPorta would have found the use of anything other than cream  or full bodied milk to be a sacrilege. I can still hear her saying, “ Where is the cow?” That was what she called the milk….the “cow”.  Once, as a new bride, grandma visited my home. I wanted the coffee service to be perfect, so I baked a cake, spent half my weekly grocery budget on premium coffee, and found an actual china  “cow” creamer to pour the milk from. She talked about it for years afterward and I was very pleased.

In addition to the china “cow”, I have collected a number of artifacts to support my coffee commitment: tins for the beans, mugs from workshops and travels, and at least three types of brewing machines. Details on these would require another article, but at least one of them makes individual frothy cups of different coffee beverages. Amazing!

What goes in these  machines? Coffee from places that I visit is part of the ritual. Costa Rica provided some of the most robust flavor ever and a pound bag cost less than two American dollars in the “supermercado”. I brought home as much as my luggage and US Customs would allow. It was gone in a month. Lots of folks rave about the Kona blends of Hawaii. I brought some back, but they weren’t as amazing as I had hoped. The coffee in Italy was fabulous, but I may be prejudiced, since it is the homeland of my ancestors.

My favorite things. Coffee is certainly one of them, but it isn’t the brew alone that brings me pleasure. The company and memories attached to so many cups of hot java over the years contribute to my passion. Long afternoons with my best friends and sisters. Early mornings with my daughters. Meetings with clients and colleagues. Each of these scenarios include coffee and conversation, a special, significant  connection. 

Oddly, my husband of three decades doesn’t like coffee. At all. In the early years, he would balk at dollars spent on the brew or grudgingly allot  time on trips finding coffee for his bride. I consider it an authentic sign of his love for me and his ability to grow and change that he now hunts the  coffee for me, especially when we travel. “Look,” he will say…”they have the kind you like.” It is so sweet. Or, maybe, he has learned that I am much sweeter when my coffee needs are met.

At any rate, when I thank God for the small things that make life a bit more pleasant and pliable, I thank Him for “Coffea Arabica” the scientific name for my favorite plant. Clearly, this was part of the work of Genesis Chapter One…”God saw all that He had made and it was very good.”

www.educationinsite.com

Your child’s brain is in a period of unparalled “neural plasticity”. That means it is growing and “wiring” at a rapid rate. Foods can contribute to the rate and quality of wiring. There are also “mood foods” that contribute to feelings of well-being. This is critical in maintaining a positive attitude toward school and life. Try some of these recipes together. For busy parents, stress damages the brain and food can be a natural, simple way to heal the damage done by inflammation.

Brain-Berry Yogurt Pie

Blueberries increase mental capacity by 55% and have powerful anti-cancer agents!

1. Mix 2 cartons fat free yogurt ( 1 vanilla and 1 blueberry)
2. Add 1 container of Fat Free Whipped Topping
3. Fold in 2 cups of washed, fresh blueberries
4. Layer all of the above into a low-fat graham cracker crust
5. Freeze overnight and garnish with more fruit.
6. *Kids can actually make this!

Coffee for the Cerebrum Pie

Coffee is a powerful anti-oxidant and reduces inflammation

1. Mix 2 cartons of fat free yogurt ( coffee flavored)
2. Add 1 container of Fat Free /Sugar Free Whipped Topping
3. Fold in 1 cup of dark chocolate chips and ½ cup dried almonds
4. Layer all of the above into a low fat graham cracker or chocolate cookie crust.
5. Freeze overnight and garnish with curls of dark chocolate or a few beautiful strawberries.
6. This is nice enough for a luncheon or fancy party!

Easy Spinach Pie

Spinach is a brain-friendly vegetable! Brains of senior adults who eat spinach 3 X per week look 10 years younger!

1. Thaw and drain 1 box of frozen, chopped spinach or 1 bag of steamed, fresh spinach
2. Slice 1 small package of mushrooms
3. Blend the following in a blender: 1 cup skim milk, 1 egg, 1 cup fat-free Bisquick Baking Mix,  ½  tsp each parsley, black pepper, salt, oregano
4. Layer vegetables in a baking dish sprayed with PAM. Sprinkle with garlic.
5. Top with a mixture of 1 cup fat-free mozzarella and 1 cup Parmesan cheeses. Pour the milk mixture over the top and bake at 350 degrees for one hour.

Note: You can change out the vegetables and use 1 box broccoli with the mushrooms or 2 cups squash.

Anti-Oxidant  Soup

Make this in a big pot on Sunday and eat it whenever you want during the week to cut back on calories and load up on nutrients!

1. Spray a Dutch oven pot with Olive Oil Pam and sauté 1 cup diced carrots, ½ chopped sweet onion,  and 2 tbsp garlic.
2. Add 3 cans of low sodium chicken broth, ½ can of tomato paste,  and 3 cans water. Mix in 1 tsp parsley, ½ tsp basil, ½ tsp rosemary.
3.  Simmer on low.
4. Put in the following vegetables: 1 can Italian green beans, 1 small chopped cabbage, and 1 thinly sliced zucchini squash.
5. Cook 1 hour on low until vegetables are tender.

Heart and Brain Healthy Bread

This is the recipe that I use in my bread machine and give as a gift!

1. Spray bread machine with Olive Oil Pam.
2. Put in 1 cup warm, skim milk, 2 tbsp. Honey, and 2 tbsp olive oil.
3. Add 3  cups bread flour ( King Arthur)  and ½ cup flax seed.
4. Put in 1 tsp. Salt and 1 pkg. Active Dry Yeast
5. Complete the 3 hour bread machine cycle.

Fast Cycle Brain Bread

This recipe is designed for the “fast cycle” on the bread machine.

Place ingredients in the machine in this order.

1 cup plus 2tbsp. warm water

¼ cup honey plus 2 tbsp brown sugar “Splenda”

¼ cup omega 3 enriched cooking oil

3 cups bread flour

1 cup oatmeal

½ cup flax seed

½ cup chopped almonds, dried cranberries

1.5 tsp salt

2 tbsp. Yeast

About 30 minutes into the cycle, open the top and sprinkle with cinnamon and slivered almonds

Cerebral Cooler

Mix 1 cup sugar free or regular ginger ale

½ cup blueberry-pomegranate juice ( not cocktail)

½ cup cranberry juice

Toss in frozen berries for fun!

Brainy Breakfast on the Go

Toast 1 Alternative Wheat Bagel

Spread tbsp omega-3 added peanut butter

Slice ½ banana and top

Sprinkle with flax seed and honey

Alternative: Top bagel with 2 slices of cooked soy bacon and mustard

Quick Thinking Dinner Salad

1 bag of washed greens and fresh spinach

Add Grilled sliced of salmon or flaked canned salmon

( May Substitute Tuna)

Toss in ½ cup almonds or walnuts ( or mix)

1 cup orange pieces or canned mandarin ( no sugar)

Sugar Peas or Strips of colored pepper

Cherry Tomato

A few olives ( green or black)

Toss with balsamic vinegar, olive oil,  and garlic

Serve with chilled green tea and have 1 oz of good quality dark chocolate

For a finish

Simple Supper Salmon Patties

In the South, folks like salmon patties or “croquettes” for a Saturday breakfast with grits. It is tasty for an inexpensive, brain-friendly supper too. Hint: a cold, left-over salmon pattie on a wheat bun with greens is a delicious adult lunch to take to work!

1. Drain and flake 2 small cans of pink salmon without bones
2. Add ½ cup low-fat mayo plus 1 tsp cold water
3. Mix in 1 cup of whole wheat bread or cracker crumbs OR use 1 pkg. Of  Zatarain’s Salmon Pattie mix ( my favorite)
4. Chill in covered dish for 20 minutes.
5. Shape into patties or croquettes and brown in olive oil.

Brainy Bean Soup

In this tough economic environment, bean soup is delicious, prudent, and powerful. Plus…beans provide “choline” which is important in neuro-transmission.

1. In soup pot, brown ½ cup each of onion, celery, and carrot in olive oil and garlic.
2.  Add 3 cans of low sodium chicken broth ( or beef) and 3 cans of water
3. Add 1 can each of navy beans, pinto beans, and kidney beans
4. Mix in 1 can of diced, stewed tomatoes                                               ( fresh in summer if you have them)
5. Toss in any left-over veggies from the week, that you have saved in covered containers: cabbage, corn, lima beans
6. Simmer 20 minutes then add 2 cups of quick cooking barley  or alphabet pasta ( for little ones)
7. Cook until tender then top with parmesan cheese when serving.

Super Spinach Side Dish

Cook 1 small box of orzo  as directed. Cook only until al dente and drain. Put aside.

Sauté 3 cups of fresh spinach, sliced  mushrooms, and 2 tbsp. Chopped garlic in olive oil.

Toss the drained orzo with the vegetable mixture and sprinkle with parmesan cheese. Serve hot.

Easy Broccoli-Walnut Salad

( Walnuts Even LOOK like little Brains!)

• 1 bunch broccoli (about 1 1/2 lb)
• 1 small red onion, thinly sliced
• 1/2 cup golden raisin and dried cherry mixture (such as Sun-Maid)
• Buttermilk Dressing
• 1/2 cup lowfat buttermilk
• 2 Tbsp light mayonnaise
• 1 Tbsp cider vinegar
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup toasted walnut pieces

Recipe Preparation

1. Cut broccoli into florets. Peel tough skin of broccoli stalks and cut stalks crosswise into 1?4-in.-thick slices.2. Bring 1 in. water to boil in large saucepan fitted with a steamer basket. Add broccoli; steam 3 minutes. Immediately rinse with cold water to chill; drain well. Toss broccoli with onion and dried fruit.3. Dressing: Whisk all dressing ingredients except walnuts in small bowl. Toss with broccoli. Sprinkle with walnuts just before serving.

Ladle Up Lentils for the Brain Soup

Lentils are a preferred brain food for two reasons: 1) They supply a steady stream of glucose, which the brain uses as fuel and 2) They are rich in folate, which helps the brain avoid depression and which is associated with the neural tube.

Start with a large soup pot. Brown ½ cup diced onion and 1 tbsp. chopped garlic in olive oil.

Once browned, pour in 2 cans low sodium beef, chicken, or vegetable broth and 3 cans of water.

Simmer for 5 minutes, then add 1.5  cups washed, dried lentils of any color.

Mix in at least two of the following veggies, chopped or diced to make 2 cups total: carrot, celery, zucchini, potato.

Add 1 can diced tomatoes. I like the ones with oregano and basil.

Sprinkle in 1 tsp each black pepper, turmeric, and sea salt.

Bring to a boil for 5 minutes then cover and simmer on low for about 40 minutes.

Option: ½ lb. crumbled turkey sausage or soy protein sausage

Serve with brown rice or cooked barley or quinoa.

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Quinoa=Super Food! Try it in place of pasta or rice.

Oats on the Brain

My personal favorite. Filling and brain-boosting. The pumpkin and flax are powerful antioxidants.

In a medium sized micro-wave safe bowl, mix 2/3 cup quick –cooking oatmeal and 1.5 cups water. Cook for approximately 2 minutes, watching for it to bubble over.

Take it out and cool for 1 minute, then add the following:

1 tbsp. pure-packed pumpkin ; 1 tsp. brown sugar Splenda; ½ tsp cinnamon; ½ tsp. flax seeds. *Sprinkle of raisins is optional.

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Bone’s Brain-Berry Smoothie

This is the famous smoothie that I talk about at my workshops, designed to help slim the waistline by reducing cortisol and promoting quickness and creativity in thinking.

In a blender, mix, in this order:

1 small container  ( ½ cup) low-fat Greek Yogurt. Use vanilla or plain.

1 cup Orange Juice Mixture ( ½ cup juice + ½ cup cold water)

1 cup frozen only blueberries

½ banana ( optional)

Blend and serve.

Did you know that all of these and more come under the cognitive umbrella of “Differentiation”? With all kinds of brains in your classroom, there is not one “right” way to deliver instruction. Indeed, every child will receive ( or not) the lesson through a unique filter.

• This filter includes all of the neuro-fibers listed above as well as a physical basis for learning that includes his or her biological and genetic make-up. For example, a girl whose mother used drugs or alcohol during the pregnancy or a boy whose father presented with ADHD as a child will come to the learning table with a decided background upon which the other differences will be imprinted. It may seem overwhelming to a new teacher. That is understandable and it is the reason many teachers drop the neuro-science ball and punt back to the platform of “Talking at” children….a big mistake. So, how does one get started with “Differentiation”? There are two simple strategies. 1) Do the assessment first. That means, do at least one simple learning style assessment on your students. Visit www.educationinsite.com for a free “Fruits of Learning” to try. 2) Always make sure your lesson plans require the students, not the teacher, to “SAY IT, SHOW IT AND DO IT”… with IT being the objective. This is a kick and easy way to assure that the students are engaged in a modest form of differentiated learning. Most importantly, “D” is for do it. The more you differentiate, the more comfortable your own brain will be with this teaching style.

Middle Age Confronts the Zip Line

Dr. Linda Karges-Bone

When I began organizing the educational tour to Costa Rica, I wanted to create a unique learning and renewal experience for educators and their traveling companions. Something interesting, invigorating, and interactive.  I didn’t count on the terrifying part.

Yet the zip line, canopy tour, or “flying through the cloud forest” experience, you pick the name, was more than I had bargained for when I set up and recruited 35 teachers, professors, and friends to trek through Costa Rica in June of this year. We spent 10 days hiking to the Arenal volcano, rafting white water in the Sarapiqui,  tracking monkeys and sloths at Manuel Antonio and Santa Elena Forests, and bringing supplies to a village school near La Fortuna  and it was all just as beautiful and fulfilling as I had hoped.

But when we got to Monteverde or “The Green Mountain”, it was me who was turning green.

The idea of the zip line sounded so cool.  Hooking up ( safely) to the wire. Putting on the rugged gear. Again, so cool. “Flying” through the clouds above the jungle as I communed with nature. Indeed.

I just didn’t count on the “extreme” part .

The  tour company did a good job of making the trip authentic. We were booked into one of the original canopy tour experiences in Costa Rica. 11 “platforms” towering up to 260 feet above the jungle, with almost 2000 feet of cable spinning the adventurous traveler along at 40 mph.  It was considered  “Extreme”, one of the longest and most challenging in the world. Weren’t we lucky!

Most of my traveling teachers were thrilled. “It is on my bucket list,” most of them eagerly affirmed. “Amazing.” “Thrilling”….and so on.

“Oh Good Lord, what have I done?” I silently thought as about a dozen young men, average age about 16 hooked us up to the safety equipment. The Costa Rican or “Tico” guides named “Hector” and “Dorian” and “Eduardo” had grown up in these trees, literally. They seemed to be cousins, from what I could tell using my rudimentary Spanish and they were fearless.

Not so the little “doctora” as they called me. I started out ok. I was actually excited. Until I slammed into the tree on the second platform. The one, unlike the other 10, missing a thick blue mattress for buffer. It was, inexplicably, absent on this fine afternoon.

It seemed that  I just couldn’t control the equipment. The braking system, which is really all that matters since once you are hooked on, you really can’t fall off. You just have to stop. Yourself.  If you’ve never done it, let me enlighten you. Hooked up to two cables. Helmet. Gloves. 40 mph and the only way to stop is to pull on the cable “behind you” and that is critical, remember that for the next part of the adventure, while you are literally flying through the air. If you don’t stop, the screaming little native guide on the upcoming platform nailed to a giant tree in the clouds can’t and won’t stop you. I found that out when I slammed, feet first into the tree.

“Not good,” said the boy as he pulled me up and dusted me off. “Maybe you go down now,” as he pointed to the ladder. You see, gentle readers, the first two of the 11 platforms are for “practice”. One can and should retreat down the ladder after the second flight if things aren’t going well or if one has experienced enough of an adrenaline rush.  After the second platform, there is no way down. I should have listened, but perhaps I was not in my right mind after the smash up. I  smiled stupidly and pressed on.

Platform three wasn’t so bad. I braked with a modicum of skill and was very pleased with myself. I felt so free, so young, so healthy and vigorous. This is what 52 really looks like! I am not old. I am woman. I am strong. And so on.

I didn’t count on the fourth flight unfolding so poorly. Almost disastrously. Remember what I said about “braking with your hand behind you?”  The pulleys move  in front. Very fast. Your gloved hands must stay BEHIND you. All the guides emphasize this. In English and Spanish.

But I was going so fast. Zooming, zipping, all of the verbs. And I couldn’t make it stop. The little man, boy, guide….whatever was hopping up and down on platform four as I approached. Yelling. Pointing. Gesturing me to use both hands to stop.  So I did.

I applied both hands as hard as I could. In front. Not behind.

I felt a painful pressure as the hardware passed over my gloved hands in a complete faux pas of zip lining etiquette. It slowed me down to a minor crash landing. The guide pulled my gloves off looking terrified. Another guide flew in, summoned for an emergency, by cell phone or bird call, I do not know. Everyone was upset. I was confused.

Thank God, my tiny little paws never fit into the gloves correctly. At 5’2’’ and about 120 pounds, I am “muy pequena” as they say in the rain forest. The cables passed over the top two inches of the empty gloved fingers, leaving them blackened and damaged, but my own hands were safe. It could have been a broken and bloodied disaster.

It was at this point that I was put in the corner of platform number four and tethered like a goat with not one, but two harnesses. I was kept there while the other 31 travelers  passed by on their successful cloud forest flights.  Three of  my original 35 has wisely retreated  after platform two. “Dr. Bone is in time out,” laughed a few teachers.  I guess I was.

At the end, six different Tico guides flew in from their various posts to view the little professor who had almost  met with a terrible fate. They pointed and asked: “Doctora Medico ?” Was I a medical doctor?

“No.” I replied.

“Ah, Doctora Psychologica!” they nodded approvingly. Close enough.

This fact seemed to delight the boys. The professor was smart in the ways of the brain, but not the jungle. Obviously. So they proceed to entertain me by jumping, one by one, off the platform in various forms of  crazy acrobatic display while screaming…..”Doctora, me loco”. I am not kidding. Their screams and laughter echoed through the  mist as they celebrated  the spectacle of the little professor . I hung my head at first, a bit ashamed of my failure, but then, what the heck. I joined in. “Si, me loco!” I agreed.

Dorian, my faithful 17 year old guide was, by this time, calling me “Mama”. He let the others have their fun and then hooked me to his own  harness in a sort of rescue attempt and we took off  through the trees. Dorian did the braking, obviously, but I was still in flight. Through the mist, over the trees, in the clouds, but with a co-pilot. Much better.

By the time Dorian and I arrived at the base camp, ( a rigorous hike accompanies the flying through the air part) my husband of 31 years had been enlightened by the returning guides.  He examined by hands, sore from the pressure, but undamaged and shook his head. “Never again,” he said. Of course he is right. I’m just not cut out for the cloud forest. Right?  But perhaps if it wasn’t quite as extreme. Fewer platforms? A more modern braking system? Who knows? I am headed to Jamaica in the winter and there is a zip line………

The Cooper River on a summer Saturday.

Simplifying Summer Living

Dr. Linda Karges-Bone

          My husband Gary and I look forward to a long, evening walk with our rescue dog, TS Eliot or “Ellie”. It is a simple pleasure, but one that isn’t always easy to fit in, especially during the shorter days of Fall and Winter. We were having this discussion while walking and chasing a few stray bunnies ( Ellie, not us) around 8:00 pm the other night. “I really appreciate summertime, now that I’m a grown up,” I said. “ You mean, now that we’re old, “ Gary laughed.

          Seriously, I think one truly appreciates the sunlight, the slower pace, and the simple opportunities for healthy eating, time outdoors, and physical activity that this season offers when one grows more mature.  These are my Top 10 reasons for appreciating Simple Summer Living:

1. More time. Some folks dislike daylight savings time. Not me. I relish the lengthy twilight, finding it the ideal, cooler time for walking or biking. Exercise becomes a treat instead of a chore when it is still daylight and you can “play outside”, just like a kid.
2. Summer suppers. Summertime gives me permission to create meals that are more colorful and simple than traditional dinnertime fare. Dinner can be fresh corn on the cob and a plate of sliced tomatoes ; a feast, especially when the produce comes from a local farmer.
3. Watermelon. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
4. The summer uniform of flowing skirts and sandals. It makes me feel cool, feminine, and mysterious.
5. Concerts in the park with a picnic hamper and a blanket. Music in the concert hall of the great outdoors, shared with neighbors is a gift.
6. Making homemade frozen yogurt with fresh strawberries or blueberries, starting with Greek Yogurt and ending with a sprinkle of almonds feels decadent, but is really healthful.
7. Reading library books on the porch rocker with a glass of lemonade. Free and good for my brain.
8. Blue hydrangeas. The color blue lowers blood pressure, a natural stress buster.
9. Taking the boat out to catch dinner and then grilling that dinner with lemon, garlic, and veggies.
10. 10.  Sleeping with the windows open. No AC, just an old fashioned fan. Nirvana.

Dr. Linda Karges-Bone is professor, author, and a big fan of summertime in the lowcountry.

Lesson One:  Finding Things

I had decided to actually try some of the interesting organizational tips from “Real Simple” and “Oprah” magazines. Hanging my winter clothes on “skinny”, space reducing hangers in color coordinated sections really did release an ample amount of space in the closet. This effort also released five different sweaters and tops that 1) I forgot that I owned or 2) Thought I had lost; or 3) Actually couldn’t remember where they came from. It was like Christmas in March!

Lesson Two: I Have Some Cool Stuff or At Least My Friends Do

Before the great clean out, I had plans to hit the shops, probably the Consignment shops, to find a suitable outfit for a fancy, evening event for which my presence is required. I hate to spend money for something that I’ll wear only once, so the pending outing was not something I looked forward to. Yet, during the process of sorting my “sparkly and beaded” items together in a section ( Yes, that is a category) I recognized a few interesting, new combinations that I could create with what I already have. I was so excited about this epiphany that I phoned my best friend “J”, who went to her own closet and pulled out additional sparkly pieces that she had stashed in forsaken territory and now offered for my use. Clearly, there is an abundance of glittery evening-wear if only one seeks and organizes.

Lesson Three: There is Enough

Feeling ravenous after the closet organization, I decided to pull something together for supper. My usual plan for Saturday evening includes a trip “out” for dinner, but since I was a little grimy and tired and wearing my favorite velour lounging pants, the plans shifted, to the pantry. I had followed the magazine’s directions on “pantry organization” and stacked the cans on tiered shelving, so that I could actually find the eight cans of five different kinds of canned beans that I already own. Using items from the pantry and freezer, I concocted this savory potage.

In a large stock pot, warm 3 cans of low-sodium chicken broth and 2 cups of water. Add chopped onion and celery if you have them or dried onion flakes if you don’t. Mix in 1 can of diced canned potatoes or 1 cup fresh. Mix in 1 can of black eyed peas and 1 can of diced tomatoes. Simmer until bubbly and then put in ½ bag of frozen collard greens and sliced turkey sausage. Cook for 20 minutes. Serve with corn bread.

Lesson Four:  There is Enough to Share

We know that “going green” is good for the planet. Recycle, re-purpose, and realize that somebody else might need some of your stuff. During the great clean out, I pulled out a seldom used comforter set still in its plastic zippered bag and remembered that my sister had loved the turquoise pattern. Did I really need to put it back in the linen closet or should it go and live in my sister’s guest room? How many “power suits” does one professor need when women at the shelter need to be dressed for success at their job interviews? Time to hang them in the car and drop them off. Cell phones and mystery chargers in the drawer? They are off the Iraq or some other battle zone as part of the “Cell Phones for Soldiers” program. It only took a minute, but it will make a difference. (www.cellphonesforsoldiers.com)

Lesson Five:  Appreciate What You Have

As I organized, sorted, stacked, and stashed, I found myself thanking God for His grace and abundance, provision and favor. I have more than enough and yet I rush through life frantically buying more when I not only don’t need it, I have nowhere to put it. And in my sloppy stewardship, I neglect the treasures in my own closets and pantry and perhaps, even in my relationships. There is beauty here, plenty of it, but my hands and heart need to be redirected at times, to put things physically and spiritually in their places. I think of the Proverbs 31 woman: “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” I’ll bet she was a woman who believed in Spring cleaning. Sometimes, it just has to be done.

A fresh look at relationships in Springtime

Dr. Linda Karges-Bone

 Reading a quasi-memoir by one of my favorite authors this Spring, Adriana Trigiani, I found myself mulling over the note that her grandmother had pressed into her hand on her wedding day: “It is not enough to wear a band, the gold must be polished every day.” Such a simple reminder from this wise Italian woman, but so important as we consider romantic relationships. Perhaps one way to polish the gold is with the “green”.

Go GREEN  In Your Relationship This Spring

G…….Get outside together. The distractions of the media elevate blood pressure and place our attentions on the things of the world instead of on the needs of the heart. Get out in the fresh air and better still, rescue a puppy or older dog and walk it daily, which also helps couples to focus on a commonly cherished pet instead of on their latest disagreement. Physical exercise and sunshine increase endorphins and serotonin levels which place our spouses in a more favorable light.

R……Remove clutter from the bedroom and that includes the television and computer. Replace bright bulbs with softer, pink or peach light that soften the harshness of daily life and offer a soothing reflection of one another. Be sure to use a CFL or compact fluorescent bulb to save energy. Recycle redundant clothing, knick knacks, and even furniture so that the room is more seamless and serene.

E…..Exchange processed foods for simple, more natural meals that give the stomach less to digest, leaving the body more energized and eager for romantic time together. Lighter meals at night or even opting for the European or Latina practice eating the more substantial meal in the afternoon instead of at night simplifies the evening schedule, leaving more time for a stroll or bike ride, which also help to bring a couple closer.

E……  Explore the use of local greens, seafood, and fruits that energize and enhance feelings of well-being, which in turn will enhance feelings of intimacy. The art of eating locally is green and also romantic when a couple stops by the produce stand together to pick out fruits and vegetables, a most organic and sensual experience.

N…….Nestle your errands into a once a week adventure together instead of wasteful, separate trips that burn fuel and drain your emotional energy. Listen to a book on CD together in the car, one borrowed from the library. Why not talk? Sometimes, a shared story helps to break the monotony of the day and the errands and gives you something common to chat about over a picnic in the park, which will be waiting in the basket in your backseat.

Going GREEN this Spring might not help to save just the planet, it can help to restore the gold in your wedding band, as you simplify life and focus your energy on one another.

Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, wife, mother, author, and radio host can be found most evenings this Spring walking her husband of 30 years and their rescue dog, TS Eliot.

Dr. Linda Karges-Bone

     We had not long returned from a restful, romantic cruise to the West Indies. No, we are not newlyweds. Quite the contrary. This trip marked our 30^th Wedding Anniversary.

     I was having a cup of coffee with one of my graduate students, who wanted to discuss a planned summer study trip to Costa Rica. I figured I had better lead this trip requiring a zip-line through the rainforest canopy before my 51 year old back became too cranky to be hoisted up, but more on that in a future discussion.

     “You know, Dr. B.” said my young grad student, “I am really glad that I signed up for the trip.”

     “That’s great,” I nodded, sipping my skinny, skinny mocha latte. “Study abroad is something one should be passionate about.”

     “Well,” she continued, “I actually want to get away for a while. The whole “getting engaged” situation is getting on my nerves. “

     “Already?” I laughed. “It has been just a few months.”

     “I know,” she sighed and lowered her head to confide an important and perhaps shocking bit of information, “but I am beginning to see that he isn’t perfect. Not at all. And, how can I marry someone who isn’t perfect?”

     I grabbed the coffee and began to sip, hoping to hide my laughter. “Not perfect? However will they manage?”

Lessons Learned: A Reflection

     Thirty years ahead of my young protégé, one finds a bit of perspective, just a bit. In honor of Valentine’s Day and all of that, perhaps a note on the “5 Truths About Balance in Marriage” would be in order. Have I learned anything about relationships in 30 years? You decide.

Truth #1…..There is more balance in marriage when one realizes that it doesn’t have to be “perfect” to be perfectly acceptable. In spite of what reality TV and even “Disney” cartoons suggest, there is no perfect mate nor a perfect relationship. Comparing one’s marriage to an idealized image or one’s partner to an imaginary mate is a recipe for disaster. The modern concept of a “starter marriage” that supposedly prepares one for the “perfect” second marriage seems wasteful and misguided. Giving oneself and one’s spouse the gift of acceptance is the mark of adulthood and the first step in balancing a marriage or committed relationship.

Truth #2….Balance is more accessible in the home when one chooses to live simply. Too many bills; too many commitments; and too much clutter drain one’s energy and distracts one’s thoughts. From this kind of waste and complexity comes exhaustion and from exhaustion….frustration. And so it goes until the frustration becomes directed at one another, instead of at the “stuff” that is keeping you from spending time together.  

Truth #3….Sometimes, the only way to keep one’s balance in life is to do nothing. Keep this in mind when real disaster, temptation, or disappointment  threaten. Our culture and our egos compel us to “make it right” when we feel wronged. For many couples, a separation seems like the only thing to do when times get tough. Unfortunately, I have seen most couples who separate drift further apart rather than repairing damage. Sometimes, doing nothing is the right answer, at least for a time.

Truth #4…..Doing nothing doesn’t mean ignoring real issues that are keeping one’s relationship from growing in a healthy, balanced direction. The three “A’s”….addiction, adultery, and abuse of any kind must be confronted and “cured” if possible, with all of the professional assistance and personal support available. Love can survive in spite of these painful, dangerous circumstances, but only when the spouse who needs to change is responsible, reliable, and repentant as he or she works to become whole. In three decades of marriage, I have seen couples emerge stronger and more in love after infidelity and other painful threats, but it wasn’t easy. Much better to adhere to the 5^th and final truth…

Truth #5….Guard your hearts. Don’t ever think that boredom, temptation, or simply “growing apart” won’t happen in your relationship. Keep your eyes open and on one another. Those trite messages about “date nights” and “keeping yourself in shape” aren’t actually wrong. Keeping one’s health: physical, mental, and spiritual in the best shape possible is a gift to oneself and ones’ spouse. Over the long haul, if one is in it for the long haul, it is more fun to be with a person who shares some interests, has energy and enthusiasm, and who thinks that his or her spouse is funny, fascinating, and fun to be with. That doesn’t just happen, not for anyone. It takes energy, planning, and passion.

     So, we are going to Costa Rica in a few months…leading a group of 35 educators on a trek that includes kayaking, hiking, and that zip-line mentioned earlier. It will be fun and different, and though it probably won’t be perfect, like most of the past 30 years, it will not be dull.

Dr. Linda Karges-Bone is a wife, mother, professor, and writer. Her latest book is Brain-Framing: Instructional Planning With the Brain in Mind. Her messages on family life can be heard on the “Family Radio Network”.